Motherhood is often described as a journey of love, patience, and sacrifice. For a mother raising a child with autism in the Philippines, this journey takes on a deeper complexity, where challenges are met with remarkable resilience and triumphs are celebrated in the smallest of victories.
This is the story of Ailyn Jam de la Cruz with her daughter, Juliana Patriz (comprising the combined names of the two remarkable and strong women in Ailyn’s life: her mom and her mother-in-law) or Junana for short, who was diagnosed with autism at the tender age of two years and eight months. Her story focuses on the struggles, adjustments, and profound love that shape the lives of parents raising children with autism spectrum disorder or ASD.
The diagnosis and emotional toll
When Ailyn heard the ASD diagnosis of Junana, it came as a shock. It left her in denial. “Maybe the doctor made a mistake,” she thought. She grappled with questions many parents in her position usually ask: “Did I do something wrong? Was it the medication I took during pregnancy?”
These questions weighed heavily on Ailyn, magnifying the emotional impact of the diagnosis.
Autism, a developmental disorder affecting communication, behavior, and social interaction, brought changes not just to Junana’s life but to her entire family’s. “She wasn’t speaking, and I kept asking—why my daughter?”
Her emotional struggles were immense. “There were times I felt a deep sadness. I even experienced symptoms of depression,” she shared. Social media posts of children winning medals or excelling in school deepened her sense of loss. She worried about Junana’s future, wondering if she would ever achieve milestones that society often equates with success.
Despite these feelings, Ailyn found solace in acknowledging her emotions and understanding that her experience was valid. As the days turned into months, she began to find ways to cope.
Making life adjustments for Junana
Life at home took on a new rhythm. Outings became rare, and birthday celebrations were simplified. The mother and her family adjusted their routines to minimize Junana’s frustration. “She is free to do as she pleases at home, but I make sure she’s safe,” Ailyn said.
Even mundane tasks like brushing Junana’s teeth or managing her loose baby teeth became moments of learning and care. Ailyn met each challenge with a mix of fear and determination.
At work, Ailyn’s colleagues—aware of her situation—offered support to ensure her comfort, especially when Junana came with her.
Celebrating small victories
For a child with autism, even the smallest progress can feel monumental. When doctors suggested Junana might never be toilet trained, Ailyn took it as a challenge. She set alarms through the night, guiding Junana to the bathroom until it became routine.
“I still put her in diapers when we go out, but every step forward, no matter how small, is a triumph,” she proudly shared. These small victories brought hope and a sense of accomplishment and helped strengthen the bond between mother and daughter.
Becoming her daughter’s advocate
Over time, Ailyn learned to become an advocate for her daughter’s condition. She made it her mission to help educate others about autism and encourage acceptance.
“When someone asked me if there was something different about my daughter, I answered honestly: Yes, she has autism.”
She credits growing societal awareness for making life more manageable for her, and especially Junana. Teachers, classmates, and even strangers now show more understanding—an immense source of comfort for the family.
The balancing act
A common experience of siblings of children with ASD is the feeling of being neglected. Junana’s brother would sometimes voice his frustration, “You love Junana more because you always excuse her behavior.” These moments pushed Ailyn to explain what autism is to her son, in a way he could understand, to nurture a stronger bond between the siblings.
“I remind him that his sister doesn’t mean any harm,” she said. Ailyn hopes the two will grow up supporting, accepting, understanding, and loving one another.
Dreams for the future
Ailyn’s dreams for Junana are simple yet profound: for her to develop life skills, to be better able to regulate her emotions, and to find her place in the world. She acknowledges the uncertainty of the future but remains steadfast in her hope.
“When I think about what will happen to Junana when I’m gone, I worry. But as her mother, I must keep dreaming for her. If I stop dreaming, everything ends.”
A mother’s gratitude
Through the highs and lows of life, Ailyn’s journey with Junana has been one of profound growth.
As a working mother in the mental health field, she has learned to juggle her professional responsibilities with her daughter’s unique needs. Ailyn credits her resilience to the support of family, friends, and organizations that have helped lighten the load.
One bright star giving me strength and determination is my supportive husband, Mizael, who believes in my cause.
“Every moment with Junana is precious. I cherish our strolls, our hugs, and the small joys that come from simply being together,” she said. For Ailyn, these moments are what make the challenges worth it.
Ailyn’s story is not just one of struggle but of triumph, advocacy, and unconditional love—proof of the strength of parents of children with ASD in the Philippines.
The story of Ailyn and her daughter Junana highlights the importance of creating a more inclusive society where children with special needs can thrive and their parents can find the support of the community.
For inquiries or support, you may reach out to Ailyn at 0917-5172083.
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Here’s a poem Ailyn wrote for Junana. (WITH OPTION TO USE PICTURES OF THE POEM – currently in PDF format)
I am an AuSome Mom
The Au-someness of my daughter stripped off the theories in me.
But I learned much more – more deeply as I can see.
Her development is atypical, not the ones at work as the usual.
Some people call her ABnormal But in my eyes, she is truly exceptional.
Patience is a must when handling her meltdowns.
I get those stares as she cries and does not calmdown.
My heart burst as if it was smashed when the physician called her spoiled and a brat.
When she was young, I questioned – didn ’t I serve?
Was I sinful that my daughter has to suffer?
But now, I wonder what I did to deserve her.
God immensely blessed me her as my daughter!
Junana taught me that communication is beyond talking.
But before it was really just frustrating.
Now, we do more strolling and hugging
Being there is me and her just watching!
Anak, now I am more hopeful and more than happy.
I, and your Dad, are praying fervently for provisions, guidance, strength, and mercy.
Whatever God has planned for you, may He bless us to let things be.
Dear Kabunian, to you I pray.
I know that I am not here to stay.
When the time comes that You will call me away, I beg that You send angels to my Junana’s way.
